FINALLY.
After 9 months (let’s be real, it’s ten months; even longer if you go past your due date like many Mamas do) of growing this human, giving up alcohol, and becoming too fat for all your clothes, your little angel makes their grand entrance into the world…
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My labor was intense to say the least…. I was in labor for almost 3 days, and the first night I was having contractions only 1 minute apart. By day 2, I was so over it, and by the beginning of day 3, my sassy little diva FINALLY arrived, kicking and screaming…I should’ve taken that as an indicator of her personality…
Anyways…
Of all the rushing thoughts a new Mama has after giving birth, here are 5 of the things you can’t help but think about…
1. Why Do I Still Look Pregnant?
I have to admit, as soon as I got from labor & delivery to my regular room, I took a shower and looked down…what the hell??? I just gave birth to a 9 1/2 pound baby, and I still look like I’m ready to pop at any moment. I mean, obviously I knew I wouldn’t be swimsuit ready right after birth but damn, I thought I’d look a little bit smaller to make myself feel better…My massive gut looked sexy as hell tucked into those mesh underwear though, I’ll tell you that!(Your stomach will go down, just be patient!)
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2. I Need Food ASAP
One thing I didn’t know before going into labor, was that once you are in labor at the hospital, all you can eat is ice and liquids… Hell, had I known that, I would’ve eaten anything I could get my grubby little hands on before I had my husband take me in! After two days of labor and no real food of substance… Ugh… I was HANGRY… Add on top of that my frustration that my baby was taking FOREVER to enter the world… It was all bad.. my poor husband… He got the brunt of my aggression, that’s for sure!
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3. I Am TERRIFIED To Go #2
After pushing for what felt like a lifetime, even peeing afterwards was a struggle…As soon as the nurses started pumping me with stool softeners, I became panicked for #2. Did they know something I didn’t? Was I doomed to have a tragic first #2 after birth experience??? Good Lord I was so terrified…And maybe it was my terror that told my body to chill the F out, but I did not go #2 for like a week after birth… But when I did, it was totally no big deal… I freaked out for nothing.. per the usual… So if you do think about this after birth, don’t panic, you’ll be fine…
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4. I Am Never Doing This Again
After meeting my child, they took her to weigh her and check her out. During that short time, I looked at my husband who was smiling ear to ear and said, “WE ARE NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN.” Thinking about that moment actually still cracks me up to this day… All I remember thinking was, “F THAT”. One child is enough for me, thanks… Directly after birth you might think this, I totally did… But give it time to sink in… After a few months, I couldn’t even remember much about how labor felt.. I mean I DEFINITELY remember that it hurt like hell, but the memory is cloudy… it’s like your body has this defense mechanism to help shut those horrifying memories out so you will have another baby. It’s totally true, because I 100% want another baby….To be continued…
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5. This Is Amazing
Above all else, the main thought you’ll have is how amazing the whole thing is… It is truly a miracle that you can’t even put into words… Yes, there is a laundry list full of gross, disgusting, and painful things that Mama’s must go through during the process, but after the grand finale; holding your sweet baby in your arms, and knowing that you created this life…ugh.. it still blows my mind… That must be why so many people have more than one child…. That little tiny human makes all that horrifying crap worth it…And it totally is worth it.
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