True life: Finding a mom friend feels a lot like dating

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While I was madly in love, I yearned for something more. Even though he stared googly eyed at me with pure admiration, he communicated only by screaming. Plus, he took “needy” to the next level.

Don’t get me wrong – my newborn son was amazing in every way, but I desperately wanted something more. The days were long and lonely, and a maternity leave filled with endless rounds of feeding, changing, and laundering just wasn’t gonna cut it for this new mama. It was time to begin the daunting process of “Mom Dating.”

The Tinder

Since us moms do not get the option to sit home and swipe right, we have to venture outside to our local Starbucks or Mommy and Me classes to find a match. I met my best friend Lexi in the park, always a prime pickup spot. She looked “my type,” and our baby boys seemed to be about the same age. I approached her, making that unnerving first move by pointing out that we had the same turquoise Bugaboos.

“Nice stroller,” I nervously flirted.

“Thanks,” she replied, smiling sheepishly. “How old is your baby?”

One thing led to another and before I knew it we were discussing which brand pacifiers were best, and whether we should let our babies cry it out in the middle of the night, known in Mom-lingo as “CIO,” of course. Now this was getting interesting. Us new moms were “buzzed.”

The First Date

But would I ever see her again? The conversation was coming to an end, and my only choice was to take a leap of faith and ask her out. Lunch seemed too bold. Better to start slow.

“Want to grab a coffee sometime?” I asked, holding my breath while I waited for a response.

“I would love to!” she replied.

And just like that, I got her number.

The Courtship

Two lattes and an amazing date later, I longed to text her, gushing my love and professing that I wanted to have our next babies together! But I knew I had to play it cool. I resisted the urge and sent a simple text:

“So fun today – let’s do it again.”

Three hours later … still nothing. Did she not feel the same? I must have misread her cues. She definitely met someone better.

And then I saw the “…” on my IPhone, making my heart aflutter.

“Sorry,” she texted. “…”

Was this the end?

“Came home, put Jacob in for his nap, and passed out too. Today was great. Let me know if you want to go to Soul Cycle on Sunday with me.”

I didn’t even like Soul Cycle, but there you have it – a second date was naturally born.

Going Steady

After a few more dates, our relationship moved to the next level. We were “officially” friends. We finished each other’s sentences, laughed at all the same jokes, and were the first to comment on each other’s Facebook and Instagram posts. I even added her number to my “Favorites” on my phone. Love was in the air.

The Double Date

Now, it was time to up the stakes again and bring her “home” to meet the fam – my husband. A lot was riding on this. If the husbands hit if off, we could achieve the ultimate status of “Couples friends.”

“Please don’t mess this up for me,” I cautioned my husband.

At dinner, I could barely eat I was so nervous. I quickly stole a glance across the table. Who knew there was so much fantasy football to discuss? I prayed it wasn’t just the alcohol talking. But as we said our goodbyes, the guys were busy making plans for us to all watch the Giants game together. This was my idea of fantasy football.


Finally, we had it all. Husbands and wives both friends and babies the exact same age who now slept through the night (sometimes). What could be better? We honeymooned in a Hamptons VRBO and spent those first two years in complete infatuation, meeting for morning strolls and baby gym classes.

Until my move to suburbia a few years later. While Lexi and I spoke often on the phone, our long distance relationship was certainly harder to maintain. It was back to the dating pool for me.

Luckily they don’t call it preschool “pickup” for nothing.


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